40 Fungus Jokes & Puns We Promise You’ll Be Lichen

Whether these jokes make you cringe or chuckle is up to you — but one thing’s for sure, there’s mushroom for improvement. Here are 40 fungi-related jokes to tell your mycophilic friends. 

By Justin Cooke Last Updated: August 28, 2023
Last Updated: August 28, 2023

For this post, I spent weeks paneling my friends to send me their best fungus jokes. Many obliged, but quite a few were a spore-sport about it and said my project was too much truffle to be worth the effort.

I persisted, but a few of them told me they’re lichen me less and less.

This page is a work in progress. As I started writing, I realized there wasn’t enough shroom to include every joke I could find — so here’s the condensed version with the most cap-tivating jokes I could muster.

If you have any other jokes you think should be included on the list, send your jokes to feedback@tripsitter.com

Classic Mushroom Puns

Let’s ‘mush’ forward and explore some classic puns that have spored countless laughs over the years.

1. Why did the mushroom go to the party?

— Because he was a fungi!

2. Why didn’t the fungi go to school?

— They were too much of a mold-fashioned crowd!

3. Why did the mycologist become a comedian?

— Because he knew the yeast he could do was make people laugh!

4. What do you call a fungi that makes music?

— A decomposer.

5. What did the grumpy old fungus say to the young plant?

— I’m lichen you less and less every day!”

6. Why did the fungi leave the party?

— There wasn’t mushroom!

7. What room has no doors, walls, or floor?

— A mushroom.

8. What did the mushroom say when he was running late? 

Amanita minute.

9. Why did the gourmet chef give up on foraging for wild mushrooms?

— He found it was just too much truffle to be worth the effort!

10. What do you call a photo of a mushroom? 

— A stalk photo.

11. Which vegetables goes best with jacket potatoes?

— Button Mushrooms.

12. What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel?

— A shroom with a view, please!

13. Why is it impossible to have a conversation with a female mushroom?

— Because shiitake too much.

14. How do you tell a good mushroom from a toxic mushroom?

— Have your friend try it first.

15. What does a mushroom buy when it’s having a mid-life crisis? 

— A spores car.

16. Why do mushroom children behave so well?

— They don’t want to get in truffle.

17. Why did the mushroom get promoted at work? 

— It was more than cap-able for the job.

18. What did the mushroom say to two mycologists in love? 

— Get a shroom.

19. Why did the mushroom get stuck in traffic on the way to work?

— It was mush-hour.

20. What do mushrooms enjoy eating around a campfire?

— S’pores.

21. What’s a vampire’s favorite soup?

— Scream of mushroom

22. Where do baby mushrooms grow before they are born?

— In the mushwomb!

23. Why did the fungi and the algae get married? 

— They took a lichen to each other!

24. Why are polypores always the last to leave?

— They’re really good at sticking around.

25. Why did the polypore become a musician?

— Because it wanted to be in a band, not just on a log!

26. Why did the mycologist break up with the polypore?

— Because it was too shelf-centered!

27. Why is mold never a hit at social gatherings?

— Because even though it’s well-cultured, it has a tendency to spread too quickly!

28. Why wasn’t the mold worried as he stood at the edge of a cliff?

— Because falling was the yeast of his concerns!

29. Why don’t mushrooms ever share? 

— Because they’re a little bit shelf-ish!

30. Why was the cordyceps bad at relationships?

— Because it was too controlling!

31. Why did the cordyceps go to therapy?

— Because it had attachment issues!

32. Why was the lion’s mane mushroom always invited to parties?

— Because it was the mane attraction!

33. What did the mycologist say to the psilocybin mushroom?

— I must admit, you’ve altered my perspective!

One-Liners

I tried to write/find some good mushroom one-liners, but most of them were a bit cap-ricious!

34. Mycologists are the most virtuous scientists. They’re all obsessed with morels!

35. I didn’t used to like mushrooms. But now they’re growing on me.

36. Our local woods are full of mushrooms right now. I’m always tripping on them.

37. I took my final exam on magic mushrooms… I passed with flying colors!

38. Never argue with a mushroom; they’re real spore losers.

39. I wanted to grow my own mushrooms, but I couldn’t find the spore time.

40. Mushroom humor may be a niche market, but it’s growing all the time.

Mushroom Memes

Why did the mushroom meme get so many likes?

— Because it was stuffed with humor!

The mushroom meme lexicon is endless and continues to develop. Outside of our favorite mushroom meme of all time — the Shrigma Male — here are a few of the fungus-related memes we’ve been inoculated with so far:

1. Mushroom Pizza

2. Get Ripped!

3. Virtual Reality

4. Vision go Brrrrrr

5. The Fabric of Reality

On a More Serious Note… 

Want to learn more about the fantastic world of fungi? Check out some of our educational posts to get started: 

Magic Mushrooms 101

How to Grow Magic Mushrooms (The Easy Way)

How Strong is the Average Magic Mushroom?

How to Take Mushrooms Using the Lemon Tek Method

Do Shrooms Go Bad?

List of all Magic Mushroom Species

List of all Magic Mushroom Strains