For this post, I spent weeks paneling my friends to send me their best fungus jokes. Many obliged, but quite a few were a spore-sport about it and said my project was too much truffle to be worth the effort.
I persisted, but a few of them told me they’re lichen me less and less.
This page is a work in progress. As I started writing, I realized there wasn’t enough shroom to include every joke I could find — so here’s the condensed version with the most cap-tivating jokes I could muster.
If you have any other jokes you think should be included on the list, send your jokes to firstname.lastname@example.org
Classic Mushroom Puns
Let’s ‘mush’ forward and explore some classic puns that have spored countless laughs over the years.
1. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
— Because he was a fungi!
2. Why didn’t the fungi go to school?
— They were too much of a mold-fashioned crowd!
3. Why did the mycologist become a comedian?
— Because he knew the yeast he could do was make people laugh!
4. What do you call a fungi that makes music?
— A decomposer.
5. What did the grumpy old fungus say to the young plant?
— I’m lichen you less and less every day!”
6. Why did the fungi leave the party?
— There wasn’t mushroom!
7. What room has no doors, walls, or floor?
— A mushroom.
8. What did the mushroom say when he was running late?
9. Why did the gourmet chef give up on foraging for wild mushrooms?
— He found it was just too much truffle to be worth the effort!
10. What do you call a photo of a mushroom?
— A stalk photo.
11. Which vegetables goes best with jacket potatoes?
— Button Mushrooms.
12. What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel?
— A shroom with a view, please!
13. Why is it impossible to have a conversation with a female mushroom?
— Because shiitake too much.
14. How do you tell a good mushroom from a toxic mushroom?
— Have your friend try it first.
15. What does a mushroom buy when it’s having a mid-life crisis?
— A spores car.
16. Why do mushroom children behave so well?
— They don’t want to get in truffle.
17. Why did the mushroom get promoted at work?
— It was more than cap-able for the job.
18. What did the mushroom say to two mycologists in love?
— Get a shroom.
19. Why did the mushroom get stuck in traffic on the way to work?
— It was mush-hour.
20. What do mushrooms enjoy eating around a campfire?
21. What’s a vampire’s favorite soup?
— Scream of mushroom
22. Where do baby mushrooms grow before they are born?
— In the mushwomb!
23. Why did the fungi and the algae get married?
— They took a lichen to each other!
24. Why are polypores always the last to leave?
— They’re really good at sticking around.
25. Why did the polypore become a musician?
— Because it wanted to be in a band, not just on a log!
26. Why did the mycologist break up with the polypore?
— Because it was too shelf-centered!
— Because even though it’s well-cultured, it has a tendency to spread too quickly!
28. Why wasn’t the mold worried as he stood at the edge of a cliff?
— Because falling was the yeast of his concerns!
— Because they’re a little bit shelf-ish!
30. Why was the cordyceps bad at relationships?
— Because it was too controlling!
31. Why did the cordyceps go to therapy?
— Because it had attachment issues!
32. Why was the lion’s mane mushroom always invited to parties?
— Because it was the mane attraction!
33. What did the mycologist say to the psilocybin mushroom?
— I must admit, you’ve altered my perspective!
I tried to write/find some good mushroom one-liners, but most of them were a bit cap-ricious!
34. Mycologists are the most virtuous scientists. They’re all obsessed with morels!
35. I didn’t used to like mushrooms. But now they’re growing on me.
36. Our local woods are full of mushrooms right now. I’m always tripping on them.
37. I took my final exam on magic mushrooms… I passed with flying colors!
38. Never argue with a mushroom; they’re real spore losers.
39. I wanted to grow my own mushrooms, but I couldn’t find the spore time.
40. Mushroom humor may be a niche market, but it’s growing all the time.
Why did the mushroom meme get so many likes?
— Because it was stuffed with humor!
The mushroom meme lexicon is endless and continues to develop. Outside of our favorite mushroom meme of all time — the Shrigma Male — here are a few of the fungus-related memes we’ve been inoculated with so far:
1. Mushroom Pizza
2. Get Ripped!
3. Virtual Reality
4. Vision go Brrrrrr
5. The Fabric of Reality
On a More Serious Note…
Want to learn more about the fantastic world of fungi? Check out some of our educational posts to get started:
→ How to Grow Magic Mushrooms (The Easy Way)